The Coldest Ice
by Sage of Death
Summary: Riza Hawkeye one of the coldest people out there. Her memories come haunting back to her about a tragic event that shaped her cold wall from emoting her emotions. It's so painful that she altered it making Roy more concerned then usual.


Disclaimer: If owned FMA I would get Roy and Riza married in the movie. I don't own FMA though. I only wish. Lyrics of Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me by Mel Carter is in this one shot

**The Coldest Ice**

She tossed and turned all night long on her bed. Those horrible images of gore and grotesque people all disfigured and could not even be called people anymore. She saw herself standing in front of all those people. She did it. She did it all because of his fault. Basque Graun had ordered her to kill those civilians or he would strip her of duty from protecting Roy Mustang. In her mind after all these years she altered the event instead of that sick reality of what happened that day. The sicker part of that story was it happened on Valentines Day. In her mind she rewrote what happened on that day so it didn't seem as horrible as it should have been. This drove her to insanity because she never released tears for anything because she was afraid to cry because she wanted to be strong for him. Roy Mustang the man she had become to love dearly.

She woke up finally from her restless sleep and stripped herself from her sky blue pajamas and jumped into the shower and turned it on and let the water run all over her body that ached. You see if you don't let emotions out it will rebel and take pain and strain on your body doing more damage then you think. Hah. They were right when they said that the emotional pain did more damage on you than anything else. She finished showering and wrapped a green towel around and pulled out her uniform neatly pressed and she jumped into it quickly. She comber her long blonde lochs and clipped into a bun and walked out the door with a humongous pain in her chest.

She finally reached the office and saw only her superior Roy Mustang in the office. No Havoc, no Breda, no Falman and no Fuery. Roy looked up at Riza's semi shocked appearance,

"They have the day off Hawkeye if you're wondering. They all have dates and other things. I on the other hand don't. That's why I'm here unwillingly in my office."

She walked over to her desk and pulled out some papers and started writing her reports and her body ached and her eyelids were dropping from lack of sleep and the pain that submerged her body,

"Hawkeye you don't look so good. Are you alright?"

Her head shot up and turned around to see Roy right by her with his hand on her shoulder. She brushed of his hand lightly,

"I'm fine sir. I just didn't sleep so well that's all."

Roy nodded and was about to walk back but he turned around and smiled wickedly then softened it,

"Hawkeye you don't have any plans tonight do you?"

She shook her head and his grin widened,

"Then how about I take you to dinner tonight for Valentine's Day."

She widened her eyes. He just asked her out for dinner. That's new,

"Why not I have nothing to do tonight anyways."

Roy silently shouted a 'yes' to himself and smiled,

"There's a new Italian restaurant in town. I'll be at your place at 8:30 tonight then."

She nodded and Roy took her hand and brought up to his lips and kissed it gently making them both flush red in the face. He walked back to his desk and he thought to himself 'Hm. If that made her flush I wonder what would happen if I actually kissed her…Something's wrong with her…she's been so tired lately and her eyes looked flushed. Hm? I guess this looks like a job for Roy Mustang detective extraordinaire. Free of charge for the woman I love.'

Riza finally reached home after grueling hours at work. Her body has hasn't had any sleep at all and she hoped he didn't worry about her like this. She looked into her closet for something presentable and beautiful to wear. She looked at the red dress that stopped at knee length. 'Red!' She was brought back to a flash back of those civilians she had killed with pained looks bloodied and disfigured…they were worse looking corpses at least corpses didn't scream or give a sickening blood curdling hiss of death. She yelled in pain and tried to remember that those events did not happen. She didn't want to remember what actually happened. She wanted memory that she altered in order to save herself. 'I really hope that this doesn't show to Roy.' She thought as she pulled on the satin red dress. She strapped on matching high heels and let down her hair and put on a quick flash of ruby lipstick. There she was ready. She looked into the mirror one last time and saw her flushed eyes. Riza Hawkeye didn't cry and never cried at all not even as a child because she thought that it would bring everybody down.

Now that was starting to show. Her eyes were giving in, they needed to release tears but she had to stay strong and not cry. The doorbell rang and Riza hopped down the stairs and through the kitchen over to the door and opened it and her mouth dropped just a smidge at her superior who looked devilishly handsome tonight in black tuxedo pants and a cobalt blue dress shirt. That wasn't what she was surprised at. It was his hair. It had been combed back showing more of his face then he does and those incredibly handsome onyx eyes of his that burned with pride. Roy finally started chuckling,

"Are we going out to eat or are you just going to stare at me all night with your mouth slightly open Riza?"

She flushed deeply that time. She was hoping that he wouldn't notice that,

"Good evening to you too Sir."

Roy took her arm,

"Riza the name's Roy if you haven't remembered."

Roy purred and she flushed. 'Now I know why he swoons so many women. He's so seductive.' They finally reached the restaurant and they took their seats. It was incredible and so fancy lit up with crystal chandeliers. Roy ordered what they were going to eat and then shoed off the waiter and looked over the table at Riza,

"Excuse my manners Riza. You were gaping at me earlier when I forgot to mention how beautiful you are tonight. I wish I could see you more like this Riza."

She smiled and noticed that he scooted his chair over towards her and sat as close as possible to her and whispered in her ear,

"Excuse me again Riza but. You haven't been your self lately. You look like you haven't had enough sleep you shiver at work like you are in pain and your beautiful amber eyes look like they are about to leak with tears but you don't. You're hiding something Riza."

How could he notice what was wrong with her? He must have been paying attention when she didn't notice,

"Roy how did you know?"

Roy smiled softly,

"Riza I care about you. I care if you are in pain. I care if you collapsed in the office from exhaustion. Tell me what's wrong please?"

She couldn't so she simply brushed him off gently when the food came. After minutes have passed it was dark out in central and they walked to the park with only a street lamp illuminating there view and they sat down and Roy turned to her as she bowed her head down to stare at the ground. He couldn't take it anymore he needed to know what was wrong with her. This woman was as cold as ice and her expressions weren't easy to read at all,

"Riza. There is something wrong with you. I need to know! This is killing me Riza knowing that you're hurt and your not telling me. You're killing my heart."

Riza frowned when he said that but she had to tell him,

"Years ago going back into the Ishbal Rebellion I promised to protect you. Basque Graun took advantage of that." She took a long breath and then she started shouting, "HE ORDERED ME TO KILL INNOCENT CIVILIANS BECAUSE THEY WOULD'NT FOLLOW WHAT HE SAID!" She toned her voice in her. She had to tell him the truth, not the false fantasy she had created, "I shot everyone of those bodies until they were so mutilated that they didn't even resemble humans and I did it because he said that he would take my restriction of me protecting you. The reason why I have had pains every Valentines Day is because that was the day I killed those civilians. As time passed I altered my memory of that day to make it seem like that never happened and it was all just a dream. A fake fantasy…so that's why I.."

Roy finished her sentence quietly,

"That's why you have been getting these pains. Emotional pain is the worst when you don't tell anybody about it. Riza this is bad for you. You can't believe your fantasy. I also know that your tear ducts are so filled up. You never cried in your entire lifetime have you?"

She was flustered with anger and she stood up and yelled at him,

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME ROY MUSTANG!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

Roy yelled back and she stomped away but Roy caught up to her and hugged her tightly and placed his face in her hair and she tried to pry his arms away from her body,

"let go of me this instant Roy."

She hissed out angrily. Roy didn't listened and spoke into her hair,

"I'm not letting go Riza. Riza you need to let out your emotions freely or nothing will become of yourself. It's ok to be serious but you need to exhibit more emotions. Your body can't take such a strain! You keep on doing this you'll eventually die with no happy memories."

Riza tried to force herself away from him struggling as much as she can but minutes past and she was tired and stopped lying limp against his body. She wanted to cry now more then ever but she couldn't she was so scared to even do so. She turned to face Roy's worried face.

**Hold me, hold me  
Never let me go until you've told me, told me  
What I want to know and then just hold me, hold me  
Make me tell you I'm in love with you**

Riza faced him and stroked his soft shaven cheek and he started crying as he continued to hold her,

"Riza I beg of you. Don't do this to yourself. I love you too much to see this happen to you. I know they say that men don't cry but I frankly don't give a shit. Please?"

Roy placed a warm hand in her hair and silently massaged her scalp,

**Thrill me (thrill me), thrill me (thrill me)  
Walk me down the lane where shadows will be (will be) will be (will be)  
Hiding lovers just the same as we'll be, we'll be  
When you make me tell you I love you**

Riza spoke softly into his ear as she continued to caress his cheek,

"Roy I have to. I know no other way. I'm like a robot I can't exhibit emotions like I would want to unless I'm ordered to. I don't know. I just don't know."

Tears streamed down his cheek as he kept a calm voice,

"Riza I tell you and show you how to. You just have to be more open and trusting to me. First off Riza I want you to cry. And that's an order."

Riza's eyes flooded quickly and buried her face in to his chest and cried so hard she never wanted to stop.

**They told me "Be sensible with your new love"  
"Don't be fooled, thinking this is the last you'll find"  
But they never stood in the dark with you, love  
When you take me in your arms and drive me slowly out of my mind**

Roy massaged her back lovingly and whispered softly in her ear,

"It's going to be alright. Just let it all out Riza."

Roy's eyes flooded with tears again and buried his face in her hair. She smelled of sweet lavender and roses as his salty tears flowed silently through his eyes. About a half an hour had past until she finished her crying and it felt good. Crying with her inside the embrace of her loving Roy Mustang. 'Wait! Did he just confess his love for me earlier! Ah I wasn't paying any attention!' She looked up from his chest and she placed a hand against his cheek and he gently nuzzled it, purring like a kitten,

"Roy I forgot you just confessed your love for me earlier. I don't know what to say."

Roy smiled as he purred like a kitten nuzzling her hand,

"You can say what's in your heart."

Roy put a hand over her heart and smiled as he felt it beating. She never felt more loved or understood till she met Roy Mustang,

"My heart says I love you Roy Mustang. Always and forever."

**Kiss me (kiss me), kiss me (kiss me)  
And when you do, I'll know that you will miss me (miss me), miss me (miss me)  
If we ever say "Adieu", so kiss me, kiss me  
Make me tell you I'm in love with you **

(Kiss me) kiss me, (kiss me) kiss me  
When you do, I'll know that you will miss me (miss me), miss me (miss me)  
If we ever say "Adieu" so kiss me, kiss me  
Make me tell you I'm in love with you

Roy smiled and lifted her chin up their lips barely touching and tilted it,

"Roy kiss me please?"

Roy nodded and kissed her warmly and she kissed back and wrapped her arms around his neck holding him tight and held her back tightly. She finally noticed that he had melted the coldest ice with his warmest kiss. They parted their lips and smiled at each other lovingly,

"Well Riza my heart says that it would love you forever if you decide to marry me."

She nuzzled his cheek and he nuzzled back,

"My heart says yes Roy. I would love you forever also. You are the only one who could melt my cold ice with your powerful fire."

He smiled and secretly slipped a ruby engagement ring on her finger and dipped her body for a kiss to end all kisses as she kissed back running her fingers through his silky hair,

"Sealed with a kiss Riza."

She smiled. She finally learned how to emote her emotions thanks to the love of her life…

**Hold me, thrill me  
Never, never, never let me go  
Hold me, thrill me, never, never, never let me go!  
Hold me, thrill me, never, never, never let me go!**

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Review please and tell me how you liked it if you liked it at all. Thanks!**  
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